On Sunday, my dog, Titus, had a little episode. My husband thought he had hurt his back, which he's had trouble with off and on for awhile. I thought he had had a stroke. Looks like I may have been correct. We kenneled him overnight, but it was badbadbad when we woke up early yesterday morning. He couldn't stand, or even lift his head, really. So, we whisked him off to the vet. One x-ray of his back later, we got the news. It was not his back. The doctor thought brain or nervous system. He was getting worse with each passing minute, and he was in alot of pain. Our only decision was to put him to sleep. My sweet dog, who was my constant shadow and always with me, is gone. I am lost. I have cried and cried over him. My heart hurts. I miss him terribly. It's going to be a rough go for awhile. He was my little bestie for the last 9 years, and it's killing me. I don't want another dog....I want him.
Right now, my life feels pretty bleak. So much for happy holidays. I want to end this year and get on with the next. I'm ready for new. I'm ready for better. I'm ready to be done with sad, and stifling, and struggling to get through. I just wish I had my poodle to share it with.